


Never Truly Alone

by InsecurelyPerfect



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comforting, Depressed Peter Parker, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, NaNoWriMo, Oops, Other, Peter misses Tony, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sort Of, Tony Stark died, Uncle Happy, aunt may is lowkey an asshole, dedicated work, emotionally damaged peter parker, happy hogan cares, i broke my own heart writing this, im sorry, mj is lowkey an asshole, ned is lowkey an asshole, no im not, peter eats nothing but burgers, yes I am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21624139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsecurelyPerfect/pseuds/InsecurelyPerfect
Summary: It's been eight months since Tony Stark died and Peter has had a hard time dealing with it.  Happy and everyone else gets really worried about him, but it's only Happy that made sure that Peter was okay.Peter has a hard time, but he finally acknowledges Happy's efforts.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Peter Parker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Never Truly Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fangirling1019](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirling1019/gifts).



Peter had never been good at coping with loss. Hell, he was only a kid, yet he'd lost so many people close to him. He'd taken losing Tony the hardest, after his uncle Ben, of course.

He locked himself away and refused to go to the Tower. If anyone tried to call him, he'd decline it. The only person's voicemails he'd listen to were Happy's. But he wouldn't call back, wouldn't text back, wouldn't give any sort of gratification. It wasn't his fault and May made sure to let Happy know that it was just how Peter grieved.

It had been the third time Peter's grades skyrocketed while Spider-Man had been seen every night, sometimes even several times a night. J. Jonah Jameson surely had a field day with that. It had nearly gotten to the point where Happy was banging down the door every day.

Happy had come over a couple of times with burgers and fries from Tony's favorite burger joint. Peter came down and took the food, but he rarely spent more time than he had to out of his room and usually was only downstairs long enough to lie to Happy and say that he was alright. Peter knew everyone was worried. It was impossible not to, what with how they would text, call, and reach out to him on every kind of social media every day.

Happy was the only one who had bothered to come by and check on Peter. As much as he would deny it, he appreciated it. He appreciated that Happy would take the time to make sure that Peter was eating properly. He'd been meaning to text Happy and tell him, or text May to tell Happy, but just didn't have the energy for it. He'd had a hard enough time getting through school every day and interacting with people was even harder, let alone sending a text.

Yet despite all of that (how much Peter pulled back from everyone), Happy was still there. after everyone had more or less given up on him (May, Ned, and MJ all included), Happy's support never wavered. He tried his hardest the entire time.

It took Peter some time, but when he finally showed Happy just how much he appreciated all of his efforts, Happy knew it was all worth it.

x

Happy clutched the paper bag tighter in his fist than he had previously done. He'd lost count of how many times he'd come by the apartment, but he knew that it was long enough that the smell of the fast-food would never come out of his car. 

Happy sucked in a deep breath, trying to find the courage to knock on the door. It had been getting harder and harder lately, not knowing what was going on with Peter and if he was okay or not. In all honesty, Happy almost hadn't shown up that day. When he called May to see how Peter was doing, May sounded the least worried she'd ever sounded. She'd been getting increasingly more aggravated and disinterested as time went on. It had been nearly eight months since Tony passed and Peter showed no signs of healing. Happy had been coming over for just over three months and as far as he knew, it was the only food Peter had been consuming. 

Peter had lost a concerning amount of weight and Happy didn't know what else to do. He didn't know what else would help. He figured that Peter didn't want to eat more than something quick (plus, he couldn't cook), and Happy knew that the fast-food wasn't healthy, and he felt bad, but he needed to know that Peter was eating. He knew that commonly when people lost someone as close to them as Tony was to Peter, they would fall into serious states of depression and anxiety and it could result in a ton of weight loss, and that seemed to be what was happening with Peter. 

Happy wanted Peter to know that no matter who stopped caring, no matter who he lost, no matter what happened, Peter would always have at least one person on his side. Happy would be that person. He'd never been good with talking about feelings, so he did the only thing he could think of: buy Peter food from Tony's favorite place.

Peter had always taken the food, sometimes eat a fry or two or three and take a bite of the burger while he was getting the food, but then he would disappear. Sometimes he would even take a swig of the chocolate milk that Happy would also buy. Peter may have been sixteen, but he also knew that Peter's favorite drink was chocolate milk. The most that Happy could do was just hope that Peter would eat the food in secret in his room. He would stay for a couple more minutes, sometimes even a couple of hours and talk to May.

They would talk about all sorts of things. Like how Morgan was doing and how she was coping, if May was still trying to get Peter into therapy, how they had tried to get him to stop going out at night and fighting every single everyday criminal he ran into if there was something they were missing. That was what they talked about most of the time. Other times, they just talked about what was going on in their own lives. How Happy was taking up cooking lessons, but they weren't going well, how May's job was going, what movies they were interested in seeing lately. Sometimes, they just needed a break from the rest of the shit going on around them.

That day, though, May wasn't home. She was out of town in a different state, and it was four hours earlier than Happy normally would have come. He was planning on coming over two times a day while May was out of state for work. He hadn't verbally told her, but he silently promised that he would be making sure that Peter was eating at least two meals a day.

He could hear the muffled sounds of the news coming from the TV and some shuffling around. Peter was home. Out of his room. That was a good sign. Happy tightened his grip on the bag once more and knocked on the door. The sounds coming from the TV quieted and the shuffling stopped.

"Pete, I can hear you in there," he said. "I know you're home," he said, quieter.

A loud sigh came from behind the door and then there was a lot of clattering and clanging as Peter unlocked the door. He opened it and Happy had to try and hold back a gasp.

Peter wasn't dressed, he hardly ever was. He was wearing just a ratted pair of old, large boxers that hung lowly on his hips and a dirty white t-shirt. His collar bones were visible and his arms were so thin that Happy could see many of his bones sticking out. He looked exhausted and disheveled, his brown hair mussed. Peter had large purple bags under his eyes and looked as though he hadn't slept in days. "Hey, Happy," he said. His voice was raw and Happy looked at him again. He looked and sounded as though he had just been crying. Happy didn't know what to do and Peter moved aside. "Are you coming in?"

Happy swallowed and flashed Peter a tight smile. It was the worst condition he had ever seen the boy in. "Yeah, um, here's this." He held out the bag for Peter to take and for the first time in months, Happy saw the ghost of a smile run across Peter's face. Maybe he was getting better.

Peter took the bag from him and sat down at the kitchen table. He laid out the food in front of him and started eating. It was the longest Happy had ever seen Peter out of his room since Tony died. Hell, he hadn't even been going to school; he was on home instruction.

The way Peter was eating made it look as though he wasn’t going to scurry off to his room as quickly as he could. Happy took that as a sign to sit down next to Peter. Peter was halfway through his burger and Happy just sat and watched him. He debated saying anything or waiting for Peter to speak first.

"So," Peter said, muffled and through a mouthful of burger and lettuce. It was kind of gross to listen to, but Happy was too ecstatic that Peter was actually taking the initiative to speak to him first to care. Happy smiled as he waited for Peter to get his thoughts together. Peter swallowed. "Would you like some fries?" Peter asked, shoving them in Happy's direction.

Happy reached out and pat Peter on the knee. "No, thank you, Pete. Those are for you." Peter nodded and silently reached for a little handful of fries before stuffing them in his mouth. Despite how tired and worn down Peter looked, he also looked as though he didn't care that much. He looked relieved to finally be eating something of substance and Happy wondered how long it had been since Peter last ate.

"How - how are things going, kid?" Happy asked.

Peter continued to chew as he nodded, trying to swallow. "They're... they're..." Peter looked up at Happy, sadness prevalent in his eyes, desperation and the want that Happy wished he could fulfill, but ultimately knew he couldn't. Peter looked down and Happy didn't miss the tear that dropped onto Peter's wrist. "Things aren't going well," Peter said, defeat dousing his voice. He obviously hadn't wanted to say anything, but the honesty was good. They were getting somewhere.

Something that May said stuck out in Happy's mind and ultimately worried him. She told Happy that Peter wasn't going through many of the stages of grief. That he had gone straight to stage four. depression, and just stayed there for all eight months he'd been wallowing. Happy knew that Peter wasn't new to loss, but that didn't make the lack of emotions any less concerning. 

"It'll be okay," Happy said softly, trying to get Peter to retrain his gaze on the food or Happy rather than his lap. He had succeeded. 

Peter brought his head up and tears were running in thick, constant streams down his cheeks. His nose was red and running, his cheeks brighter than Rudolph's. There was saliva dripping down his chin and all over his mouth. He was crying so hard that he wasn't even making any sound. Happy didn't know what to do, and he'd hardly had the chance to even think about to help because sooner than Happy could do anything, Peter was trying to speak again.

"I just... I miss.... so much." Despite not giving a full sentence, Happy knew what Peter was trying to say. 

Not having any words for the kid, Happy stood up and pulled Peter into his chest. That made Peter sob even louder and harder. Peter didn't even raise his arms, he just stood in Happy's arms and shook as he cried. Happy rubbed small circles in Peter's back. "Pete, is your aunt going to be home soon?" He could just feel the small headshake of a "no" against his chest. "Alright," he whispered and went back to soothing the crying teen.

They'd been standing up for a while, neither of them saying a word and just allowing themselves to _be_ in the moment. It took about ten minutes for Peter to wrap his worryingly thin arms around Happy and another fifteen for him to stop crying. Happy's legs felt like they were going numb for standing there for so long, but if it was helping Peter, then he couldn't have cared less if he tried.

Peter was more important and he always would be.

Happy didn't want to stop hugging Peter until he was ready, so he just let the boy hug him for as long as he needed to. When he finally did pull back, his face was redder than a tomato and his eyes and cheeks were so puffy Happy hardly recognized him. He hadn't realized what bad shape Peter had been in after Tony's death.

"You know that you gave him a purpose again, right?"

Peter scoffed. "Yeah, right," he said, picking at the hem of his shirt as he slumped against the back of the chair. "That was Iron Man and all of his fancy gadgets." Okay, sarcasm. That was a breakthrough. Emotion. Happy could work with that.

"Kid, he loved you. He really, really did. He gave you E.D.I.T.H. He doesn't do that for just anyone. He wanted you to have it because he loved you and saw potential in you."

"Then I've got to be the biggest disappointment ever, huh?"

"Pete, look at me." Peter did. "He cared about you so much, and I know that he's not here anymore. You're not the only one who misses him. Pepper and Morgan are struggling without him and Morgan still doesn't fully understand why her daddy isn't coming home anymore. That's not to say that you can't miss him, it's just that we all miss him. He impacted us all greatly. I have never seen anyone so happy as when he was helping you kid,

"You're so lucky to have had him in your life the way you did. He was dealt a rough hand in life and you got the good dad side of him. He could have pushed you away--"

"He did push me away at first," Peter interrupted, but Happy ignored him.

"--and he wouldn't be disappointed in you. The only way you could disappoint him is if you were to rely on the suit for happiness, if you took his path, or if you gave up. And it may have like you have done one, if not all, of those things, but you haven't. You haven't, and therefore, he wouldn't be disappointed in you. Peter, you're a bright kid. You just need to let other people help you and know that you aren't alone. Okay?"

Peter sniffed. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

Peter sat back up. He stayed there for a moment, not moving or saying anything. He was so still it looked as though he wasn't even breathing. Happy was so close to waving his hand in front of Peter's face to see if he was still alive, but before he could, Peter stood up and brought Happy into another hug.

"Thank you, Happy," he said in such a low voice that if Happy's ear wasn't right next to his mouth, Happy wouldn't have been able to hear him. 

"For what?" Happy asked.

"For being here and not giving up on me, like everyone else has. Tony was one of a kind, but he's not here anymore. It's just been hard to move on. Thank you for being there for me like he was. I appreciate everything you've been doing for me," Peter said quietly into Happy's shoulder.

It was then that Happy knew that everything would end up working out. Peter was making progress, whether anyone wanted to recognize it or not. Peter was healing-- slowly, but he was. Peter just needed his time and to be recognized as going through a hard time. Happy had been the only one to show him that time and patience and validation. Happy was just glad to see that Peter was going to be better and he hoped that if he just continued doing what he was, it would all get easier for Peter.

Happy smiled and hugged Peter tighter. "Of course, kid. I've gotta look after you. You're Tony's honorary kid. Who would I be if I wasn't looking out for you?"

Peter let out a little laugh. "Tony would come back to life just to kill us himself if you let me go off the rail or if I did end up going off the hinges."

"It's all going to be okay, Peter. Just reach out if you need anything, okay?"

"I will, Happy."

Happy smiled and ruffled Peter's hair before moving towards the door. "You gonna be okay until your aunt gets home?" Peter gave him a soft nod. "Good kid. If you need me, I left my personal cell number with your aunt a while ago. It's on the fridge door if you need to reach out for any reason." Peter threw up a thumbs up to indicate he heard what Happy said.

Happy shook his head to himself before closing the door, feeling much better than he did than when he walked in. He was so proud of how well Peter was doing.

**Author's Note:**

> i had a really hard time writing the ending so i hope it doesn't totally ruin it, but i couldnt figure out how i wanted to say it without happy seemingly taking over the role of a dad because that wasn't what i was going for and i definitely didnt want him to be "replacing" tonys role in peters life; he was only trying to help make peter feel better and he will eventually get better, things just take time, and happy knows this


End file.
